What happens when you publish a piece on your blog when you are Black, Fat, Queer and Vegan Woman


So, friends of mine suggested I should try blogging to get all of the shit out that happens on social media and in real life regarding social justice. Naive as I was I thought this could be good for me;blowing off some steam and trying to order my thoughts and see how mechanisms of injustice work and hoping that I could have safe space engagement with the readers of the blog to learn together and come to new conclusions and thinking.


Oh, how wrong was I.


I did not, for some strange reason, think through that blogging as a Black, queer and vegan fat woman  would mean that people would just attack me because of my identity itself. It doesn’t really matter what I write down, it is about the fact that I am Black, a woman, a vegan, queer and fat. That is what should be talked about, battled and destroyed, not my actual words on subjects. Nohoo, why actively engage in what I say when you can just call me a racist,sexist, speciesist who is also ugly because of her fatness without any arguments whatsoever to support these claims?Still waiting right here to see how this reversed ism shit is gonna come together though.


Interestingly, people use my friends or acquaintances against me as well. I have had a group of white people getting really angry when I published “ Tegen racisme zijn is Hip”  because they felt like I was a blob-entity with two MoC who had apparently in the past had an online conversation about the subject of racism with said group of white people. Mind you, this was before I knew either of them. Doesn’t matter, since I am  a woman, I cannot think for myself so these ideas I have regarding social justice must have actually come out of their heads and can never ever be my own ideas. Impossible. The fact that I apparently had the same ideas about this group of white people had nothing to do with the fact that they were pretending to be anti-racist allies but where still complicit in anti-blackness, no no no, it must have been that other had told me about this and therefor I just reproduced it. Black women don’t think for themselves people, I should have gotten that memo. Copy that on your Facebook, white ‘allies’. I am getting real tired of all of these allies whitesplaining me how I should battle oppression that they do not even face. The respectability politics of those allies are awful and not helping at all. Go away. Furthermore I was obviously called a racist for stating that racism exist because then I would be implicit in scientific racism…Or something like that.


Also, people will just randomly insert articles of these MoC  as if they disagree with me on a subject (as happened when I wrote the article about analogies). What is wrong with you people. First of all, I do not agree with with my friends on EVERYTHING. Secondly, why is it so important to get in the voices of these men (without them knowing) in order to silence me? You can’t just grab some article of a blog, put that in a comment and then pretend that it is not agreeing with me thus it is an argument in a conversation (while it is actually about something completely else and has nothing to do with the conversation that we should be having). And thirdly, what is up with this reasoning that I have to agree with other Black people on stuff?! We are NOT Borg. Not only do white people do this, PoC including Black people are doing this as well. Stop it. It is anti-black and your silencing me by using these methods really shows a lot about your own (internalized) anti-blackness.


When I wrote an article on sexism in the several anti-racism movements in the Netherlands I was suddenly ‘undermining the true cause’. What is actually that true cause everyone is talking about because I thought it was something with a world where social justice would be a real thing and all persons (and that word includes non human animals my speciesist ‘fellow’  activists) could express themselves as they wish in harmony and persons would try to live together understanding and accepting one another. But apparently there is some cause, I hear this a lot, so if someone can fill me in on what this cause is, I would be quite happy.


Why am I measured and torn down not on my own words put purely on my identity and then later on, to spice things up, using men I know who have or have not said anything random in the past. What is that. What is wrong with you?


From now on I am NOT going to engage with people anymore on social justice if they do not want to participate in a safe debate on the subject where we can listen to each other and learn from each other. I am NOT going to run around answering all your random questions while you do not engage with my answers but just pose some new totally random question. I am NOT gonna sit at home crying behind the screen because you pretend I am not even there in a conversation while you are tearing me down purely on my identity while you just leave the conversation as you please and go out and eat some crisps while you leave me all upset. I am NOT going to let you use my friends (till this day always falsely) in order to silence me No. Not anymore. And you sure as hell CANNOT DM or PB me to just rant further to me about stuff I have not even said and call me dogmatic blablabla. I am NOT going to answer anymore on stuff that I have not said, written down or stated anywhere.


What we CAN do is discuss together how to fight oppression and how to do this in a manner in which we do not marginalize others, we CAN learn together and try to find out what we should and should not do, how mechanisms in oppression work and how we want to proceed from now on.


Edit: I forgot, do not know why,  to mention the person who made 4 fake Twitters with my name and posted how i should slame my ugly face to wall, how fatphobia doesn’t exist and I am just ugly and fat and keeps till this day posting about me on their FB  to say what a bad person I am. Blogging, such a safe place. NOT.

PS I am also quite amazed by people saying that I have good points, am right, they need to think more about how they can actively change something in their behaviour  etc, but “ I am still gonna do it anyways because of because” Seriously though….  

PPS If you are seriously gonna debate a spelling or grammar error in order to state that thus the content of the piece is worthless , just go away. Yes, English is not my first language, so yes sometimes shit happens.             



  1. Well put, Ramona. You’re absolutely right. Only debate with people that engage with your arguments and not with whatever they assume to be (a part of) your identity. And please keep on writing, sharing your thoughts, experiences and puzzles. I am learning with you.

    1. I am the person that Ramona’s writing about, when she talks about dogma. But she has her own interpretation of events. For example, she talked about being in pain- why she was in pain, I don’t know, but I decided that, for that reason, we could discuss it privately instead of publicly. I mentioned one name, and she charged my writing with her own skewed context and blocked me.

  2. And by the way I didn’t know that you, Ramona, were fat or queer. Merely from your name I guessed you were female and from your photo that you were a person of color. But both those things were entirely irrelevant to my questioning of your piece. It’s crazy to imply otherwise in your title. The title of your piece was about not making analogies: but in your reply you implied that it was never okay to use another’s injustice as an analogy- because the injustice should be able to be accepted for what it is and stand on it’s own feet, without use of an analogy. In the future I will ignore everything you write, because of the quality of your reactions .

  3. Hi Jennifer,

    First off, it’s problematic to describe something you don’t like as “crazy” (not to mention the fact that it’s a slur more often ascribed to women). Even used in passing as you have, it’s loaded with a load of harmful ableist connotations which it depends on for meaning.

    Secondly, this post doesn’t appear to be “about” any on person or event. Even if this was an entirely different piece that *did* do so, focusing on this sole aspect misses what appears to be one of the main points of Ramona’s post: that she only wishes to engage with people who will address the points she is making.

    You don’t appear to have done this, instead talking largely about yourself. I’d question whether you feel that, after someone has told you that discussing something is painful for them, it is appropriate to continue to push that conversation, either in public or private. If someone tells you on one medium that they no longer wish to engage with you, there is something unsettling and hostile about persisting to contact them on another platform. As I hope you’ll agree when we speak to people, we are not entitled to a reply and others are not obligated to talk to us or answer our questions if they don’t wish to.

    Anyway, Ramona, I’ll echo Patricia as my thoughts are very similar: I do hope that you continue writing and find it completely reasonable to disengage (or choose not to engage at all) when people do not engage with the points you’re making.


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